


in awhile now i will feel better, i will be better

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [8]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 11:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unfortunately for Brad Penny, the San Francisco Giants and their outfielder OT3 do not come with an instruction manual or hazard warnings. Fortunately for Brad Penny, he has Ryan Vogelsong to hide behind and guide the way.</p><p>Title taken from Amaryllis by Shinedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in awhile now i will feel better, i will be better

“Well, I did warn you.”

Ryan is sprawled out in a chair shaped like a toilet. He's on his third beer and his second shot and the look on Penny's face is priceless. He'd seemed hesitant about going out after the game, lingering in the doorway of his hotel room and stuttering about how he was tired and should probably sleep. Ryan had forcibly dragged him down to the lobby. He'd been fidgety during the drive to the restaurant and his eyes had been the size of saucers since they walked into the toilet themed restaurant.

Melky, Blanco and Pagan are talking a mile a minute, completely absorbed with eachother, and Ryan can barely track the conversation. He rolls his eyes, settling for turning his attention back to Penny, taking his second shot and chasing it with the beer.

“I... this place... is this what you do with your spare time?”

“Pretty much.” Ryan grins, watching Melky before turning his attention back to Penny. “Welcome to the circus.”

Penny's quiet again for a few minutes, swiping fries through ketchup and occasionally answering a question from the outfielder OT3. He looks almost shy but happy to be included. Ryan thinks back to every time he's started with a new team, even one where he knew people, and how hard it could be sometimes to put yourself out there and make friends. He wonders how often Penny has withdrawn on himself, afraid to make any friends for fear they'll discover his secret.

Well, he's had enough to drink to afford to be pushy.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“How many times have you gone through that? Afraid to talk to the other guys on your team because you think they'll figure out your big gay secret?” Ryan asks almost feeling bad at the way that Penny flinches.

Penny seems to consider it, glancing to make sure the others are still occupied before answering. “Every time. I've uh... I've been with some people and it never worked out. Even when I was in San Francisco before I was almost too afraid to get out there and find someone.”

“Almost?”

“There was this one guy... well, it doesn't matter anymore. Most of the time I just went through the motions.”

“And Japan?”

“Nothing to do with it. I just wanted the fuck out.” Penny shrugs. “I talked to you because I could sort of tell. Sort of. I knew you spent a lot of time around those guys and everyone talks about you like you're some kind of saint, never a bad thing to say about anyone who isn't a Dodger or hasn't tried to bean you with a pitch. You were actually called a sweetheart once.”

“A sweetheart? Jesus, where do you hear this shit?”

“You'd be surprised what you hear when you keep your mouth shut. People kind of forget you're there. Anyway, I just took the gamble. It seemed like you and the outfielders were really close and going by what people said about you, if I was wrong, it wouldn't backfire as badly.”

There's a scuffle and a crash. Ryan stares Penny straight in the eyes and counts to ten before turning his attention to his boyfriend and his best friends. Blanco is halfway on Melky's lap, scrambling away from Pagan, who is dueling him with tiny plastic swords from the fruity drinks they'd ordered. The empty glasses are overturned but Pagan and Blanco appear completely oblivious, too absorbed in their own antics to notice the mess they've made.

Melky's hands are resting on Gregor's hips, steadying him as the man flails. It makes Ryan think about the last night of Ryder's last visit, squirming and flailing in Ryan's lap as Maria wiped his face. Melky smiles over his shoulder at Brad. “I do not know. This might be a backfire. It could end very badly for you, Penny.”

“It's Brad.” Penny answers, watching the scene with that same shy, bewildered smile that implies he's surprised at being included.

“Brad, a word of advice.” Melky states seriously, leaning in. Blanco squawks and falls in the floor before climbing up and launching himself at Pagan. Melky doesn't even blink, just squares his gaze on Penny, who shrinks a bit. “Be afraid. Be very very afraid.”

***

“So. You adopted a new friend.”

Ryan had went straight to bed after brushing his teeth when they'd returned to the hotel, stripping down to pajama pants before sprawling out to watch Melky move. It's always like this, a set routine that Ryan takes comfort in. Him in bed, hands folded behind his head as he watches Melky's routine. He'd jokingly called it preening once and suffered a wet wash cloth to the face as punishment. He's kept his mouth shut recently.

“He's not a pet. Sandoval's the one who adopts pets.”

“Ah yes. The baby Panda. Can we get one of those?” Melky asks. His tone is absent and he's investigating his eyebrows. Ryan's not sure what he's looking for. Maybe he's practicing that eyebrow mojo thing he has going on.

“Five kids is enough. And besides, I didn't figure you guys would mind. You get distracted, I could use someone to talk to now and again when you're trying to murder each other with plastic cutlery.”

Melky's only response is to flip him off before grabbing toothbrush and floss. That comes last and kind of weirds Ryan out, so he flops back on the bed, yawning and staring at the ceiling. “Well, he kind of got to giving me the fifth degree about why I hang out with you guys so much. And basically figured out why and called me out on it. Thought he was causing trouble but he just wanted to make sure he wasn't the only gay guy on the team. He's really lonely.”

“I think our roster has more than its share of the gay.”

“It does.” Ryan laughs, smiling when the bathroom light clicks off and Melky makes his way to the bed, sliding in. He tugs at Ryan's arm, giving him a look until Ryan scoots closers and rests his head on Melky's chest. “Do you know, he's never told anyone his whole career? No one to talk to. All these years and no real friends in the show. I can't imagine how lonely that must be.”

He shudders just to think about it, purring when Melky's hand rubs across his shoulders.

“Well, he shouldn't be lonely anymore. He has you. He has us. You can adopt another pitcher, if you want.”

“What would I do without you?” Ryan asks, smiling into Melky's chest.

Melky chuckles. “Crash and burn.”


End file.
